I hereby announce the closure of this blog. I’ve been contemplating this for quite some time. I can’t really verbalize the reasons why, but I’ll try.
I feel that with the current style of writing that’s been accumulated over the years, I cannot achieve the intended purpose for this blog. It’s very restricting, and in one of the saddest words ever (to me)… it’s ’stifling’. I said that I would go on a journey to gather material (in the previous entry). Part of it was to figure out the direction of this blog, and also to refocus on the current state of affairs and my walk with God.
This past month has been enlightening in a sense. I think I’ve been given enough material to move forward in a new direction.
So, this blog is officially closed. There are approximately 10++ drafts which never got posted over the course of its short 3 year lifespan. I look back at the journey with tender fondness, knowing that if I were to get anywhere else, then this is the way to go.
I will move my blogging and whatever new plans I have for ‘expression’ to a new site. Click http://tinyurl.com/115i-it5i-iin35
(And no, the link is not spam nor virus. It’s a redirection URL because I don’t want spiders crawling this blog).
Dear readers, you have permission (finally! :p) to add my new URL to your blog links. Use the tinyurl link instead of the actual address (thank you!).
This blog shall close with verses from 1 Corinthians 13, perhaps highlighting the inadequacies of myself and the blog; and the things I’m striving towards: conformity to the nature of God, which ultimately comes from a communion with God. I pray in accordance to His will for forgiveness on anything I’ve said wrongly in this blog; and that readers of the blog may be blessed by the entries, if He so desires. Amen.
1 Cor 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Yes yes, an announcement. I shall be taking an indefinite break from blogging. The following verses from the 3rd chapter of the book of Colossians shall be here each time you peruse the blog. I pray that this will serve as an encouragement and reminder. But before I go, do I need to explain the reasons for the break? I don’t quite know actually. It’s just something I know I need to do. Perhaps it’s for the sake of 取材. Material gathering, just like mangakas do every now and then.
CNY was great I guess. God has reminded me of His blessings, reminded me of my heritage, where I got certain traits and interests from, and been amazing in manifesting His hand in the past weeks. And now I guess I’m ready to go on a journey. The Journey. Where will I end up? Where will we end up? God knows.
Do pray for me as I partake of this journey. Recall the Vi5a ad of yesteryear…”My brother is going on a journey today“. But don’t pray for good fortune. Pray for safety, for patience, and everything that exemplifies a disciple of our Lord. Please… Thank you.
The Book of Colossians, Chapter 3
Rules for Holy Living
1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Rules for Christian Households
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
22Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
There are so many things I’d like to do right now. So many things I’d like to start learning, practicing. But somehow I just can’t get started.
I want to chase the wind just like old times, make music like it’s supposed to be made, and soar the way I’m intended to soar!
But why? Why do I seek all these? I pray that it’s only for Your glory. That Your glory may shine forth through all these. I want to be used in those areas for You.
I know the following can be confusing, but the time’s not ripe for me to explain. Daddy said, “Stop searching and you will receive what you are looking for; give it up and you will receive it”.
Once again, I drafted a few entries before this one. Two in fact. They shall remain in writer’s-block world till some catalyst gets them going.
What have I been up to in the meanwhile? Still spring cleaning. I’ve uncovered lots of documents, papers, notes which reminded me of the past 2 years. Yes, my spring cleaning backlog goes back a long way :p
Lots of memories being brought back, and lots of lessons learnt, that I’ve since forgotten. I’ve been reminded of a bible study series where we went through Psalm 23. Upon perusing that document again, I’m reminded of God’s continual presence and providence in my life. The oh so familiar verse of Romans 8:28 is particularly apt now…
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Oh well, we’ll see how it goes… I really hope I can post that entry soon. Back to spring cleaning O_O
I just started picking up reading as a hobby, the last time I read this intently was in primary school (I left manga out of the equation). So much to read. And I’ve just subscribed to an audio book service =). Been also hearing a lot of Daddy speaking to me, singing to me, serenading me even! So much to listen to. Been adding on quite a number of stuff on my ‘to learn’ list. So much to learn.
Read, Listen, and Learn. Ah! This is getting fun. Well, all these can’t quite begin until I get my spring cleaning done. And that isn’t quite fun. Argh.
Anyway, I just chanced upon a few songs by Casting Crowns which really piqued my interest in the band/group. I’ve heard of them before, but never really heard their songs & lyrics; Well, except for the familiar Who Am I. Their lyrical style is really unique. It’s not that literal, and consists of a lot of inner thoughts, ruminating if you would. Here are two songs in particular which are really deep. Paraphrasing from Wiki: Mark Hall, the lead vocalist, describes the band’s music as ‘a ministry of discipleship’. I like that. I like songs that cause people to think. I like making people think from another perspective, through the use of song, and it’s contained lyrics. That’s why I make sure to carefully choose the song set whenever I’m leading worship. I’ll pray for a theme/message that God wants to speak through me to His people, and structure the songs around that theme. Today’s entry will be abit different, I’ll embed videos to those songs in my entry, followed by the lyrics.
sit back and enjoy. No, scratch that. I don’t want you to sit back and enjoy. I want you to sit back, listen, then think. I’m not going to use an LJ-CUT, oops this is not LJ. Er, I’m not going to use a ‘read-more’ tag for this post, so you’ll have to scroll through the entire entry :p
***Disclaimer! I do not regard the songs below as ‘Worship’ songs. Except for ‘Who am I’ perhaps, hmm. The other two are more of, cries, crying out.***
Who am I?
Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt. Who am I? That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wondering heart.
Not because of who I am. But because of what you’ve done. Not because of what I’ve done. But because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I’m calling, Lord you catch me when I’m falling, And you told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.
Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love And watch me rise again Who am I? That the voice that calm the sea, Would call out through the rain, And calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am. But because what of youve done. Not because of what I’ve done. But because of who you are.
She is running A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction She is trying But the canyon’s ever widening In the depths of her cold heart So she sets out on another misadventure just to find She’s another two years older And she’s three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Or does anybody even know she’s going down today Under the shadow of our steeple With all the lost and lonely people Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning For shelter and affection That she never found at home She is searching For a hero to ride in To ride in and save the day And in walks her prince charming And he knows just what to say Momentary lapse of reason And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Or does anybody even know she’s going down today Under the shadow of our steeple With all the lost and lonely people Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgment looms under every steeple If lofty glances from lofty people Can’t see past her scarlet letter And we’ve never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple If lofty glances from lofty people Can’t see past her scarlet letter And we’ve never even met her
If Judgement looms under every steeple If lofty glances from lofty people Can’t see past her scarlet letter And we’ve never even met her
Never even met her (Never Even Met her)
(OHHHHH)Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see? Or does anybody even know she’s going down today Under the shadow of our steeple With all the lost and lonely people Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? (Does anybody hear her?) Does anybody see? (Does anybody See?) Does anybody even know she’s going down today? Under the shadow of our steeple (shadow of her steeple) With all the lost and lonely people (Lost and Lonely people) Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
Stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone that fails Is there anyone that falls Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around Everybody seems so strong I know they’ll soon discover That I don’t belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too So with a painted grin, I play the part again So everyone will see me the way that I see them
*Chorus* Are we happy plastic people Under shiny plastic steeples With walls around our weakness And smiles to hide our pain But if the invitation’s open To every heart that has been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who’s been there Are there any hands to raise Am I the only one who’s traded In the altar for a stage
The performance is CONVINCING And we know every line by heart Only when no one is watching Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free If I dared to let you see The truth behind the person That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open Or would you walk away Would the love of Jesus Be enough to make you stay
Chorus x2
Well if the invitation’s open To every heart that has been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone that fails Is there anyone that falls Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
If there’s one thing you must know about me… it’s that assumptions will be the death of me.
I hate making assumptions, and I dislike people making assumptions. Obviously clarification is the way to go, but in some circumstances it’s hard to do so, isn’t it? -sigh-
I don’t like using preogatives as an excuse. I will put my pride down if it means that the Lord, my God shall be glorified through such situations.
To summarize this entry, here’s a mish-mash of lyrics. Don’t take the order of the lyrics, or the lyrics themselves too literally. It’s… abit cryptic as usual.
You’re not the boss of me now, I don’t really care, It’s my prerogative, Don’t look back in anger, I heard you say, Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard, I just want to say hello again, But I don’t know how….
Quoted from somewhere else: "The Lord my God, The Lord who is now King, I will praise the Lord alone unto eternity". =)
These days Daddy has made it apparent that I need to pray for a revival. We need a revival. Pray earnestly for one. The following song in particular kept playing thru my head these few days, ah.. how lovely. Unable to find a reliable source for the lyrics, but apparently it was produced(?) by FCBC, and is in one of their albums. (Hmmm but there’s one minor detail I don’t quite agree with in the lyrics… but that’s for 1-to-1/face-2-face discussion).
I came into the gathering of the people of the Lord And found my way among them to His Throne I needed to return unto the altar of my God To renew again my covenant with Him
I wanted to discover the first love we once had shared Rekindling the fire deep within I found the lamp still flickering in the temple of my Lord And poured a horn of oil unto the flame
And there I built an altar to His name And realised my life would never be the same And then the fire of revival came Sweeping through my soul And I touched the Holy Presence of my God
Come build an altar unto the Lord Return to worship and hear His Word And then the fire of revival will come Sweeping through your soul And we’ll touch the Holy Presence of our God
This season is all about enthroning Him in our hearts.
On another note, I now have a clearer picture of what to pursue as a career. The other option that I had, would perhaps be a hobby instead =) But everything’s not confirmed yet. =)
Lol. I await the day I can finally get that hairstyle, grrr. I won’t have much to post these days. Almost everything has been settled, and I’m in the midst of writing up the ‘gameplan’.
I guess Suffolk & the Kitchen would have to wait, lol. I don’t know how they would come to pass in the near future.
In other news, today was a great day.
It’s 2.09am and I just reached home I just played long hours of basketball and had a long talk with a close friend. It’s been ages since I was able to keep up with this pace, and duration of playing ball. Phew, finally my fitness capacity is back to an ‘acceptable’ level. I seem to have gotten back a bit of the fadeaway shot that I used to be quite adept at… 12 years ago? Time flies. Back then I used the fadeaway because my repertoire of moves was meagre, and my knowledge of the game was little.
Earlier on I was at the library doing research. I was enjoying the research. This research is for ‘Bean’, which I hope to put forth via an online-digital medium. I’ve lost touch with web design for almost 6 years already. Ah, those were the days… but… yeah I need to find a webh0st soon too. Stay tuned for more on this project.
How would I describe now? As in the general state of things? It feels as though I have an unrestricted access to Daddy’s Grace now. One by one the impedances are removed. It’s like I’m better able to perform tasks and improve on the gifts and abilities I’ve been blessed with. In other words, I’m growing, less unhindered. Clarity, in a sense.
Oh, back at the CC, we were still balling when the lights were off. At one point in time, I don’t know why I looked up at the third floor. I could sense a ‘disturbance in the force’, if I can put it that way. It’s been quite some time since I’ve sensed such stuff. I might have some inkling as to the reason behind the ‘disturbance’, but I cannot divulge it now.
Seeing is believing, isn’t it? Why do I believe in something, I can’t see? What I mean is, I can’t see the stuff with my physical sight. Here I’m referring to two different things. 1) The ‘disturbance’. 2) Things that I think Daddy is saying to me.
I won’t delve too deep into the topic today. But really, I pray that I don’t see with human sight, or try to understand things based on human understanding. To clarify and not confuse readers, no, I’m not talking about a third eye. I know I shouldn’t leave my readers hanging with weird concepts(?), I do hope to explain them either thru this blog, or in person some day. But now’s not the time, I document these thoughts and happenings for the very purpose of facilitating my train of thought.
Oh Lord, by Your unending grace, may You enable me to have faith in the ‘unseen’ that You tell me of. That my hope & joy may be found in You. Amen.
*ps: unseen refers to what Daddy has told me about that is happening or will happen, but me lacking the faith to trust in Him.
In other news, I don’t know if I should go back to the grungy style of yesteryear. It’s easier for me, but I’m cheating with all the filters and brushes. I found Bamboospace, which I hope to be using soon as a platform for Bean.
I think I’ll be focusing part of my energies on twanging, which means RIB & WF would have to take a back seat for now.
Thank You Daddy!