I chanced upon reading some old emails… And recalled how I felt back then. I was very happy then. We were very happy. It’s peculiar how my memory of what actually transpired was corrupted by all the sorrow and finger-pointing.
I’m glad, looking back at it, that it was one of the very few things in life that I ever gave my very best. From the very day I chose to make that decision to the end. I knew I couldn’t do things slip-shod like I always did(still do).
I am thankful to God for blessing me, for the experiences and lessons. It was a long journey, and I guess I finally understood what I was to learn, after I humbled myself, and allowed myself to be taught. I am remorseful for the mistakes that I had committed. But I guess it is the acknowledgement and knowledge that God can use our failures for His glory that keeps me going, and makes me grow stronger each day.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago. It was about you. I don’t know what made me dream that. Was it a vision of sorts? I don’t know. You weren’t doing well. How should I describe it. It pains to be able to see, if I can really see. Ha. I worry, it pains. It pains not being able to do anything to help. Not being able to help in any possible human conceived notion.
The very least I can do is to pray constantly. And yet, that is the most I can do.
‘cuse me while I stifle some moisture.