The path less trodden, always.

I’m feeling guilty.
I was impatient.
I am ashamed of my actions.
I take full responsibility.

 
Is it wrong?
Silence is not golden. Silence hurts.

Does it all end like that?
Maybe I’m just imagining things. But I really doubt so.

I seek forgiveness.
I don’t know if either of you(persons intended) would see this.
I guess I’m that horrible then.

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don’t worry loyal readers. I’m coping. always am, right? this is nothing new, if you’ve known me that long. Maybe you’ve all gotten sian seeing the same old cycle of crypticism and verbal "flaggellation". I’m also tired of it.

This time, things are different. I have a deep resolve now. I am going to depend on the strength of God.

I will live the life my Lord wants me to live. I’m not going to do it alone, not by my own strength anymore. It has proved to be futile over the years.

I will do my best not to disappoint anymore. For whatever you’ve seen in me and thought I would be, I apologize for not living up to it. Yes, I know one should live for himself(I don’t mean that in a self-centered perspective,but I think you get what I mean). Ah yes,I think the word is living vicariously, or something close to that, you get my point?

I will be the man that God wants me to be. And I will seek to be contented with my lot and do my best in it.

Here I go at it. Be good y’all.

Yes it’s been a long time since I updated.

I don’t usually give accounts of my day or how I feel in this blog. Well, today was my first paper. I don’t wish to talk about it. After the paper my brain just felt weird. I didn’t feel like doing any revision when I got home. I’m looking forward to tomorrow where I’ll resume revising for my Maths and Orgn Theory papers.

 I can’t wait to get done with the exams. I’m looking forward to certain things in particular during the holidays, namely: working out, getting a job, reading as much of the bible as I can, experiencing God more and more, going out. There are more I suppose. I don’t know why but I feel caged. I know that’s my lot(exams, academics) and I should be happy and grateful. But I can’t seem to give it, or everything my best. I can’t seem to go with full strength, vigour, energy, zest. Get the drift? Something’s holding me back. I need to find out what. Meanwhile I’ll try to give it my best, if I can sustain long enough.

 I think I’m starting to be able to feel again. Whatever that means, on a future entry. It is time to slumber.