I was quite surprised to see Shannon walking today, albeit with shaky steps. I don’t know if she just started walking this week. But it’s such a joy to witness that. One could see the joy on her face with each clumsy step she took. I think she’s very proud of herself, of her new-found ability. Although she’d stumble every now and then, she’d still push herself up on her feet with her hands. I think she wants to keep on practicing and get really proficient at it. Click the link below for the rest of this entry.
It was really nice walking with her as she held onto my finger with her tiny hand. Most of the time I was afraid that she would stumble over(while unassisted), and wanted to reach out to grab her. But I decided not to as I thought it was necessary for her to learn to get used to her own body’s orientation in relation to the environment around her. Yes, she would fall, but I made sure that I would not help her unless she was falling in the direction of a chair (I had observed that she was able to cushion her falls instinctively using her hands).
I liken this experience to our relationship with God.
I understand God to be a ‘Parent’ who takes joy in seeing His babies growing each day, and in discovering the gifts and abilities that He has blessed them with. We, as inquisitive and impatient young ones, can’t wait to master our abilities and ‘conquer’ this fascinating new-found world out there. The thing about infants is that, they are not really conscious about stuff around them until a certain age(in months). Studies have shown that infants at that age do not have an awareness of self. They don’t really understand that they exist(I don’t quite know how to explain this). The only world or relationship they are conscious of is the mother-child relationship, of the mother interacting and taking care of the child. And so, babies are quite uninformed of the consequences of their own actions. Our Father, the parental God cares for us and takes care of us. But yet, He still allows us to ‘fall’ (in the context of making mistakes). He knows that it is a necessary ingredient for us to grow (in certain circumstances). One may question if God is really being caring after all; "Why didn’t He tell me not to do that; Why did he allow me to fall if He really cared?".
Perhaps, God really did tell us not to do it, whatever it may be. Perhaps, He really did try to pull us back. "Then why did we still fall?". The crux of the matter lies in whether we recognize and seek to understand what our Daddy is saying; And if we are the ones who are pushing our Daddy away."Don’t hold me, I can walk on my own!" I think for both cases, like infants, we are too impatient to experience things, or to get things done our way. We might hear our Father’s voice, but we choose to ignore it.
"But I’m not a baby anymore, I’ve grown up!". What I need to clarify here is: It is not the physical maturity I’m talking about, but rather the spiritual maturity. I myself do think that I still am a baby, and that I’ll still be one needing to draw on my Daddy’s guidance and provision throughout my entire life.
I think God takes pleasure in walking with us. I’m seeking to be conscious of His daily presence alongside me. I’m seeking to listen out for His voice, of guidance and warnings out of love. I’m seeking to learn to appreciate God’s pulling me back whenever I’m about to fall, and not push Him away. I think Daddy takes pleasure in holding my tiny hand as He walks together with me. Would you allow Him to do so?
I pray that this entry will bring you peace and assurance, and a better understanding of who God is. =)