The path less trodden, always.

With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm, smile at the storm, smile at the storm
With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home

Sailing, sailing home, sailing, sailing home
With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home!

Some of the young’uns sang this song earlier this week. The lyrics caught my ear and I went to google it. I think I must have sung it before when I was really really young, probably at the age of 3. What amazing lyrics they are, to be as a reminder.

Smile at the storm. Imagine that. Amazing!

I need to be able to exude joy again. I can’t go around with a defeatist look on my face all day. The battle has been won. If I were to carry on like this, I’d be saying that Jesus died on the cross for nothing. But the opposite is true. Christ is victorious and I’m victorious together with Him. Remember. Remember this. Drill into my head, heart, soul.

Ok gtg bye. :p 

If you were expecting the 1st post of The PG Diaries, well… I apologize. I’m still awaiting until I’ve confirmed that The Editor has approved of it; and the direction, style, that this work should take.

I’ll talk about today’s events instead.

I’m very thankful for Aaron today. Today was absolutely amazing. I was able to have the faith to loosen the reins and just let it flow, and hoho… I can’t even put it in words. There was a minor thing that I was a tiny bit irked at, but I knew that I wasn’t supposed to clarify it there and then. If there is an opportunity in the future, praise God for that. If not, praise God too =) The Lord Jesus Christ is my advocate, I needn’t do anything. He is on my side… but yet… aren’t we all on the same side? I don’t want judgement, if any, to be invoked. Oh Lord, please… by Your will, may You have grace and mercy on us. May You be gentle in your disciplining.

The old me (in the ancient blog that a few knew of), was very spiteful. Very ugly. Oh! How much I’ve changed since that. How much Daddy has changed me since then. You wouldn’t imagine the things I’d be capable of saying, the words I’d use.

Most ailments of the past 6 months seem to be gone. Knee is working fine, both soles are no longer hurting, heart and lungs seem to be working properly, I no longer get vertigo(if that’s what it was). I never knew what actually caused them. Other ailments still remain… Of these, I know the causes and remedy, but they require alot of discipline, obedience and faith to overcome. 

I’ve been waiting for alot of green lights. But all I see this past year are a kaleidoscope of colourful lights, much akin to a disco ball that’s nauseatingly flashing them in random motion. If this carries on I think I’d succumb to an epileptic seizure of sorts. I think the problem is that I’ve been ignoring the red lights, or even amber lights. Warnings telling me to slow down, or even stop. This world tells us to go forward, keep moving, to actually go ‘forward’, suceeed, progress. But in the Lord’s Kingdom, slowing down, and stopping, might actually mean moving forward.

Thank You for being amazing, Daddy =) Amen. 

I hereby announce that I’ll be writing a series entitled "The PG Diaries". If you’ve been noticing my msn nick/msg recently, you’ll see some of the titles there.

The PG Diaries is a fanfic on my own life, where I narrate my thoughts and life in a not so straightforward way… But yet I think it’d still be more coherent than the current style of writing.

I wanted to start writing my second book (Yes I actually authored a book, hohoho ), but no, I’m not supposed to work on it now. But I do await the day that I’ll be given the green light to do so. I just can’t wait for that day, if Daddy allows it to happen.

As for now… It’s time to rest. Stay tuned… to this blog.

I was asked this morning, "Who, what, do you want to follow?". 

My answer was the obvious, as usual. "You, Daddy". 

But as the old adage goes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Or is it? Hmm, I won’t delve into the technicalities today.

I need to start taking action and not be passive. Be active. I yearn to be blind to human sight. I want to see just like Daddy’s sees. And for that, all the castles in the sky will have to tumble. I will not try to make sense of things anymore through human understanding. Got to have faith. Not blind faith. But faith in Dad who welcomes me home with arms wide open.

爹，孩儿回来了。 

I shall attempt to complete this entry asap before my bus arrives (I need to walk to the bus stop).

Er. er…

 ’tis gonna be a long day ahead 

n ima no longer in ma bed.

how now brown cow

I ain’t no longer a child.

I have to grow up

No, this ain’t bout luck

We all do,

yes, even you.

Grow,

Sometimes you gotta take it slow.

Don’t rush it through.

Yes, girl, I’m talking bout you.

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This impromptu poem was composed in 2 mins. Hurrah!  

Look at the title of today’s post. How much difference a little variance in punctuation makes. Today’s post is going to be cryptic, and for that I apologize. I always apologize, because I mean it. 

The 1st variant, "Riddle-me-not", tells of how I’d prefer if the world around me weren’t so much of a riddle. If only ‘1+1 = 2′ and ‘Pi R Squared’ really gave you the area of a circle. No, all the mathematical formulae in the world just won’t cut it. I’d think I’m a very logical person. I try to understand things with logic. But does that mean that certain acts committed by certain people are illogical, irrational? I don’t think so. It’s just that I don’t have enough information, or can’t see from those persons’ perspectives to be able to comprehend it. Then, does that mean that there’s nothing that is illogical? Perhaps so. 

Day after day I scour with whatever resources I have, whatever senses, abilities I have to sieve through all the data to produce information. Will information suffice? No, it won’t. Now I finally see what has been going wrong. It was all about me, my abilities, I, me, me, me. What about God? I think we do need to be conscious of whatever discipline we have been schooled in. I’ve been schooled in the ways of technology; systems and such. Information is very much prized in those disciplines. But no, one must learn not to be governed by them. They are not absolute. What’s really absolute is the word of God. What’s absolute is God’s will. I need to shed all the false directives that have been governing me(correction, I need help in doing that, definitely impossible by my own might). I need to be transformed. 

The tagline for one of my favourite childhood cartoons goes like this: Transformers, Robots in Disguise. But no, humans, people are not automatons. Nor playthings to be manipulated or engineered to one’s liking. I do know what repair work is to be done, but that’s not my work. It’s Daddy’s work. We are to allow ourselves to be like clay, to be shaped and moulded by the Potter’s hand. Easier said than done The allowing part that is. But the key thing is that we do not resent. We need to have hope in allowing the great Healer to do His restorative work.

Finally I come to the 2nd variant; "Riddle? Me? Not.". This is in line with the always seemingly cryptic me. I think I’m a riddle to most out there. "Who is this weird guy who doesn’t act his age?", "Look at him, he’s always so antisocial". It would be so much easier if I could mouth my thoughts and narrate the day’s events just like the gazillion blogs out there in cyberspace. But no, I can’t. To have so many things to say and not be able to, how difficult that is. Why don’t I just blub out everything? Because I’m not sure whether I can say certain things, I have to be sensitive. It’s better not to say, if one knows not if it’s appropriate. Once again I become aware. Aware of what I’ve been doing wrongly. I’ve been trying to carry all that burden by myself. I’ve got to submit and commit all that unto Daddy. 

This is me. This is who I am. A child of God. A grandson. A son. A nephew. An uncle. A brother. A friend. A teacher. A leader. Only human. It isn’t easy being me.

The chocolate confectionary, Smarties, doesn’t really have all the answers as the commercial of yesteryear portrays. Only Daddy dearest has. Him, I seek.

The events are mostly over already. But I still don’t feel like I can take a break.

Should I rest? Perhaps I’ll take a day or 2 off and get going again. I don’t feel like I can stop, or should stop. argh.

And… it’s difficult but I’ll try not to see with human vision. Oh Lord, I long to see what you see.

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I know I said I’d post in my blog for weeks already. I finally did, but this is not a coherent entry. I apologize. I’m actually in a hurry to rush off to a friend’s place, so… I’ll blog when I’ve made better sense of stuff.